Special Report: Marijuana Party of Canada Riding High and Looking to Smoke the Competition
Above: The Marijuana Party could play a key role in the coming federal election
OTTAWA, ON (SP) — With most major polls now suggesting that the Liberals no longer have enough popular support to win another majority government, the focus has suddenly shifted to another political party that until recently had seemed permanently banished to the outer limits of the Canadian political spectrum: The Marijuana Party of Canada, or as it's known in Quebec, the Parti Marijuana. Although it's virtually inconceivable that the Marijuana Party would even capture a sufficient number of seats to gain official party status, party leader Marc Boris St.-Maurice believes that his party may end up holding the balance of power in the event that either the Liberals or the Tories end up with a narrow minority of seats in the House of Commons.
Editorial: Tempest in a D-Cup
Above: If movie star Monica Bellucci were to visit Toronto, would she exercise her constitutional right to bare breasts?
TORONTO, ON (SP) — Spring is in the air, and this young man's thoughts turn once again to a very important topic: Will this finally be the year that I see some fine ladies take advantage of their right to bare breasts? Since 1996, I have waited in vain for an opportunity to see some fine cleavage al fresco. But alas, it has not come to pass as of yet. What happened to all those brave women who marched with the heroic Gwen Jacobs back then? It is as if once they won their right to show their chests, it was on to the next case of feminist injustice. I was really pulling for these ladies back then, and it saddens me to think of what has been lost.
Lightning Wins Cup; Recent Flames/Leafs Nation Alliance Founders
Above: Mercurial twists of temperament
TORONTO, ON (SP) — With the Calgary Flames' 2-1 loss to the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, Toronto natives who went all-out to support a fellow Canadian team are sheepishly pawning their Flames jerseys and car window flags, purchased in an outburst of patriotism when Calgary made the finals.
"I Oughta Be in Pictures": A Brutally Honest Autobiographical (and Autoerotic) Account
Above: Sorry George, I beat you to it!
TORONTO, ON (SP) — …L'CHAIM! The restroom was empty, and it had a stall that locked! How many times had I needed to drop some friends off at the pool, only to find that the cubicle wouldn't lock? Even better, it was handicapped-sized!! There would be plenty of room available for the erotic manouevres I was about to enact. I had just obtained the latest issue of Playboy, and Latoya Jackson was the cover attraction. I was bored, I was horny, and this was as close as I would ever get to seeing the King of Pop naked.