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» Current issue

Lego vs. Mega Bloks: No More Fun and Games

Above: This expert in Lego laws believes that the lawsuit against Mega Bloks could go either way

OTTAWA, ON (SP) - Butter vs. Margarine; Williams vs. DiMaggio; Britney vs. Christina: Each of these age-old rivalries has inspired fierce debate over which is the tastier, prettier or more talented, as the case may be. Very soon, another bitter rivalry will finally be resolved by moving the forum of discussion from the playroom to the courtroom. Several years ago, Lego, the popular manufacturer of children's building blocks, commenced legal proceedings in Canada against Mega Bloks, claiming that the products produced by Mega Bloks violated Lego's intellectual property rights. Mega Bloks was successful at trial, but Lego appealed the case all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada, which last month agreed to hear the appeal. » more...

Rumsfeld Further Demonizes Self

Above: Could it be... Ssssatan?

WASHINGTON, DC (SP) — U.S. Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld's cavalier reaction to the recent spate of photos depicting cruelty and abuse of Iraqi prisoners in the hands of the U.S. military has merely fuelled already burning worldwide suspicion as to Rumsfeld's diabolic nature. No matter what he says or how he says it, there is no disguising the faint whiff of brimstone that wafts on his breath, nor the subtle flick of fork-ed tongue between his teeth.

As definitive proof of his true identity as the Enemy — the Evil One, the Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Lucifer — in the hastily photochopped image of Mr. Rumsfeld above, the Satiric Press Visual Arts Department needed merely to adjust the image's overall colour balance and airbrush in some horns. The pointed ears and devilish grin are entirely true to the original image. » more...

The Satiric Press Guide to Computer Virus Prevention

Above: Sasser is the disease and Satiric Press is the cure

SATIRIC PRESS HEADQUARTERS (SP) — The Sasser computer virus is merely the latest in a long list of devastating computer viruses that have wreaked havoc with the World Wide Web and brought traffic on the information superhighway to a screeching halt. As a public service to our innumerable net-based readers, we have asked SP's award-winning team of technical support specialists to provide you with a few helpful hints that will enable you to recognize and avoid potentially crippling computer viruses before it's too late. Here are a few things to watch out for the next time you're reading e-mail or surfing the net. » more...

None Shall Escape

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