Satiric Press. SP is the world's foremost fictional news wire service, providing reality-based stories about politics, business, entertainment, and any other subject matter worthy of ridicule. Satire. Satiric news. Humour. Humor. Funny. Parody. Sarcasm. Ridicule. Hilarious. Canada. Canadian. Toronto.
Satiric Press
  » About Satiric Press™   » Contact us   » Subscribe! © 2004 Monday, 12 April, 2004
S A T I R I C   C O N T E N T

Hot off the Press!

»  Reuters
Bush Voted "Movie Villain of the Year"

»  Reuters
British Want Homer Simpson as U.S. President

»  Reuters
Hobbit Remains Found in Australia

»  Borowitz Report
Kerry Steps Up Praise of Cheney's Lesbian Daughter

»  Broken Newz
Michael Moore Prepares For 8-Minute Hunger Strike

This website is intended for a mature audience, and is not recommended for children under the age of 18 without the consent of their parents.

» Archive
» Articles by Subject

Email a link to this page!
Google search SP:  » go

» Capital of Nasty
» HumorFeed
Member of ISNA: Internet Satirical Newspaper Association


Except in the case of public figures who are the subjects of satire, the names of entities and persons referred to in SP articles are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to real entities or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The quotations and opinions attributed to public figures in SP articles have been invented for strictly satiric purposes, and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts, opinions, or beliefs of the persons or entities to whom they are attributed.

The content of the articles on this website may offend some.

Those most likely to be offended include politicians, celebrities, and those who expect satiric writing to adhere to the rules of political correctness.
» Current issue

Close Encounters of the Prime Ministerial Kind

Above: Is Canada's P.M. really an E.T.?

OTTAWA (SP) — Media reports that Prime Minister Paul Martin's Challenger jet had a close encounter with an unidentified flying object several weeks ago were not taken very seriously, at least not initially. However, after a series of recent incidents in which the Prime Minister has displayed increasingly bizarre behaviour, many are now speculating that Martin may well have been visited by extra-terrestrials during the aforementioned encounter. » more...

Bin Laden's Capture in Fallujah, Iraq to be Unveiled One Week Before November 2nd U.S. Election

BAGHDAD, Iraq (SP) — Osama bin Laden has been captured during the recent fierce fighting in Fallujah, a source exclusive to Satiric Press has revealed. Bin Laden has already been transported to Camp X-Ray, the U.S. military base at the eastern tip of Cuba where dozens of purported Taliban and al-Qaeda supporters have been incarcerated since the American-led invasion of Afghanistan in 2001. The al-Qaeda leader will be held in secret, awaiting a military tribunal, until the last week of October, when his capture will be announced to the world. » more...

Above: Transported incognito to Camp X-Ray, bin Laden awaits tribunal, date to be announced sometime in late October — Surprise!

New National Registries That We Actually Need

Above: Pamela Anderson is among those who oppose the creation of a national breast implant registry.

OTTAWA (SP) — New Democrat MP Judy Wasylycia-Leis recently made headlines by introducing a Private Member's Bill in the House of Commons regarding the establishment of a national breast implant registry. In our view, the most compelling reason to establish any sort of national registry is to protect the public from the more sinister elements of society. With this in mind, the following are some new national registries that we believe are needed to protect the public from certain groups of individuals who are so out of touch with reality or that have such profoundly bad taste that they pose a serious, imminent threat to our nation's well-being. » more...

The Transformation Begins

  © 2004 Satiric Press. Content may be reproduced or redistributed in any form so long as it is attributed to Satiric Press ( and this notice is included.  
All contents © 2003, 2004 Satiric Press. All rights reserved. Archive.