Satiric Press. SP is the world's foremost fictional news wire service, providing reality-based stories about politics, business, entertainment, and any other subject matter worthy of ridicule. Satire. Satiric news. Humour. Humor. Funny. Parody. Sarcasm. Ridicule. Hilarious. Canada. Canadian. Toronto.
Satiric Press
  » About Satiric Press™   » Contact us   » Subscribe! © 2004 Monday, 15 March, 2004
 
P A R E N T A L
A D V I S O R Y
S A T I R I C   C O N T E N T

This website is intended for a mature audience, and is not recommended for children under the age of 18 without the consent of their parents.


» Archive
» Articles by Subject
Google search SP:  » go

Links:
» Capital of Nasty
» HumorFeed
Member of ISNA: Internet Satirical Newspaper Association

Disclaimer

Except in the case of public figures who are the subjects of satire, the names of entities and persons referred to in SP articles are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to real entities or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The quotations and opinions attributed to public figures in SP articles have been invented for strictly satiric purposes, and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts, opinions, or beliefs of the persons or entities to whom they are attributed.

The content of the articles on this website may offend some.

Those most likely to be offended include politicians, celebrities, and those who expect satiric writing to adhere to the rules of political correctness.
 
» Current issue Email a link to this page! » Front page

Coming Attractions: "The Passion of the Christ: The Second Coming"

SatiricPress.com
Above: A sequel to The Passion of the Christ is coming soon to a theatre near you

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (SP) — With Mel Gibson's controversial new film about the crucifixion of Christ setting new box office records, fans won't have to wait long for the resurrection. Gibson tells Satiric Press that pre-production has already begun on "The Passion of the Christ: The Second Coming" (a.k.a. "P2: Judgment Day"), with a scheduled Christmas release date.

The new film will be set in the present day, with Christ returning to help fight the war on terror. Islamic leaders have expressed concern that the film might portray Muslims in an unduly negative light. Meanwhile, Jewish organizations are again convinced that the film will be anti-Semitic, especially after learning that Mel Gibson's father would be serving as a technical consultant.

Gibson did receive a ringing endorsement from an unlikely source: 60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney. Just last week, Rooney incurred the wrath of many CBS viewers after claiming that God had told him that Mel Gibson and Pat Robertson were "a couple of wackos." Rooney received over 30,000 pieces of hate mail in response, including one letter which succinctly described him as an "asinine, bottom-dwelling, numb-skulled, low-life, slimy, sickening, gutless, spineless, pot-licking, cowardly, pathetic little weasel."

However, in a commentary set to air on the next edition of 60 Minutes, Rooney claims that God spoke to him again, explaining that He was just kidding about Gibson being a wacko. "God was deeply moved by The Passion," said Rooney. "It made Him feel as though He had just lost a member of His family. He gave it two omnipotent thumbs up. Way, way up."

According to Rooney, God is anxious to find out what happens to Jesus in the sequel. "He even expressed a willingness to lend His name as an executive producer if it would help get the film made any faster," said Rooney. "However, He promised that He wouldn't interfere with the production, since that would obviously go against His concept of free will."

Above: From God's mouth to Andy Rooney's ear
Email a link to this page!

  © 2004 Satiric Press. Content may be reproduced or redistributed in any form so long as it is attributed to Satiric Press (http://www.SatiricPress.com) and this notice is included.  
» Front page
                                           
All contents © 2003, 2004 Satiric Press. All rights reserved. Archive.