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Liberal Sponsorship Scandal: 90% of Canadians Unsure What All the Fuss Is About

OTTAWA, ON (SP) — In an Ipsos-Reid poll released yesterday, the vast majority of respondents indicated confusion as to why everyone is acting so surprised at revelations that the federal Liberal government's Sponsorship Program funneled money to Liberal-friendly advertising agencies and other companies. When asked, "Did you have any suspicions that federal tax dollars were being used to pay off Liberal Party debts", 90% answered, "Not particularly but it doesn't surprise me one bit." A further 8% answered "That's exactly why I don't pay taxes", with the remaining 2% answering "ˇViva la Revolución!"

More results of the survey:

"Do you believe Prime Minister Paul Martin when he says he knew nothing of the funding irregularities?"

  • 75%: "Saying you were in the government but didn't take part in or know about corruption is like saying you smoked weed but didn't inhale."
  • 18%: "Yes, as long as he actually said 'I didn't know nothing' — that's a double-negative, right? Heh heh."
  • 7%: "Don't know, don't care, don't wanna know cuz it's so fuckin' depressing how they waste all the money they steal from me in taxes."

"Do you think the situation would be different under a different governing party?"

  • 56%: "No, all politicians are the same breed of venomous scorpion."
  • 30%: "No but at least they'd have the decency to hide it better."
  • 14%: "Don't know, don't care, don't even wanna think about it cuz it's so fuckin' depressing how they spend all their time feathering their own nests while this country spirals down the drain."

"Will the information about the scandal released thus far affect your choice of party in the next federal election?"

  • 45%: "Vote?"
  • 12%: "Yes, most definitely, I will cast my vote so as to send a clear and unambiguous message to Ottawa that this behaviour is not to be tolerated, thereby exercising my right to vote and taking part in the democratic process."
  • 43%: "Don't know, don't care..."
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