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» Current issue

Has He Lost His Mind?: Frasier's Iron Man Streak to Continue

Above: Reports of Dr. Frasier Crane's death have been greatly exaggerated

SESAME STREET, Va. (SP) — When NBC announced that this would be the final season of Frasier, it was expected that Kelsey Grammer's 20-year streak of playing Dr. Frasier Crane on prime-time television would finally, mercifully, come to an end. However, that was before Grammer learned that actor Carroll Spinney has been playing the felt feathered fowl known as Big Bird for the past 35 years on Sesame Street. In order to keep his own streak alive, Grammer has agreed to join the cast of Sesame Street in September. » more...

GO Transit Designers Surprised to Learn of Toronto Snowfall, Sub-Zero Temperatures

HAVANA, Cuba (SP) — The numerous delays and cancellations plaguing the GTA-area GO transit system this winter came as a surprise to GO's chief designer, Paco Fernandes of Acme Railway Design SA. Reached at his office in Havana, he explained that the design of the regional railway system was undertaken by only his most trusted and senior engineers — the same engineers who have worked on the Havana - Valparaiso railway, the Cairo - Alexandria railway in Egypt, and who are currently working on the Darwin - Alice Springs connection in northern Australia. » more...

Deconstructing Dubya: Revisiting the State of the Union Address

Above: We already know what President Bush (left) had to say about the state of the union, but Senior White House Correspondent QED (right) tells us what Bush really meant.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SP) — Politicians seldom say what they really think, particularly when delivering speeches as severely scrutinized and carefully choreographed as President Bush's recent State of the Union address. The challenge therefore becomes to read between the lines, in order to divine the truth from what is merely implied, rather than stated explicitly. To guide our readers through this complex analytical process, Satiric Press has called upon our Senior White House Correspondent, QED, to perform his own analysis of this year's State of the Union address. » more...

Into the Darkness...

Got a old hoopty? Or maybe a sweet ride? Can't afford the monthlies on the latest set of Spin-teks™? Put it up for sale in the SP Auto Pages. » more...

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