Fan: "Say wha'? They didn't pick AMFM to be the new VJ?! Punk-ass muthafuhkas!"
TORONTO, ON (SP) — With the final selection of the Much Music VJ Search 2003 having been completed, legions of devastated AMFM fans expressed shock and dismay — their hopes and prayers that 2004 would see AMFM ascending to "stardom and coolness" having been pitilessly dashed like fine china plates at the base of a rocky sea-side cliff, with fork-lightning arcing across the blustery midnight sky and a baleful moon staring down upon the splintering shards.
"I just can't believe they didn't pick him," said one fan. "They didn't even show his video submission in any of the 'Close But No Cigar' segments. What's that supposed to mean? That AMFM wasn't originally slated to be a finalist, and only rejected at the last minute due to being older than the upper limit of the target demographic? As if!"
Below: Satiric Press has obtained an exclusive clip of the rejected AMFM submission; click to view (4.6 MB)
Another fan, upon learning last Wednesday that AMFM was not among the eight applicants selected for the on-air showdown, desperately tried to start a grass-roots "write-in" motion in support of AMFM's bid. "I called and emailed all my friends, telling them that they should go to the Much site, and instead of clicking on one of the eight, they should send in an email saying they really liked the guy with wristband 2545, and why wasn't his picture up on the site yet? It didn't work, obviously."
A despondent AMFM was reached for comment on Sunday while watching the VJ Search finals. Wearing a housecoat and Budget Rent-A-Car toque, he refused to say anything other than to mutter something about "It's all up to Plan 'B' now. Plan 'B' will pull me through. Yeah."