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» Current issue

Family, Friends and Fans Back Wacko Jacko, Convinced of His Innocence

Above: Michael Jackson's bizarre physical appearance doesn't seem to have diminished his popularity

MONTREAL, PQ (SP) — Since being accused by police of engaging in lewd and lascivious acts with a child under the age of 14, Michael Jackson's legion of fans has been quick to come to his defence. Within days of Jackson's arrest, candlelight vigils were held in cities around the world by people convinced of his innocence. However, the turnout at some of these gatherings was less than overwhelming, such as in Montreal, a city with a population in excess of three million, but which saw only six people attend the vigil. » more...

Targets galore

Quick Hits: A Brief Satiric Take on Current Events, Volume 4

Above: Lord Conrad Black of Crossharbour has reason to smile after learning that the minimum wage in Ontario has been increased from $6.85 to $7.15 per hour

This week's edition of Quick Hits features a rare bit of good news on the financial front for British Lord Conrad Black, the penny-pinching ways of Ontario's political leaders, and Canadian Alliance MP Larry Spencer's new political party that actually encourages political incorrectness. » more...

Top Executives Agree to Stop Laughing at Pathetic Lottery Payouts

TORONTO, ON (SP) — In a move designed to placate shareholders irate at astronomical executive incomes, the leaders of several of Canada's top companies have pledged to stop scoffing in public at the "puny, pathetic" payouts of Lotto Super 7 and Lotto 6-49, which untold legions of their employees play every week in the vain hope of achieving "freedom". "It is true that the $52-million-plus I took home last year, including long-term incentives — in one single year, mind you — is more than any jackpot that's ever been paid out by not-so-Super 7," said Frank Stronach, Chairman of the Board of Magna International Inc. "But I will agree to stop boasting about that fact." » more...

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