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Except in the case of public figures who are the subjects of satire, the names of entities and persons referred to in SP articles are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to real entities or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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» Current issue

Ontario Premier Declares Fire Sale on Crown Assets to Balance Budget

Above: Some have accused Dalton McGuinty of being two-faced for proposing the 'Common Sense Liquidation'

TORONTO, ON (SP) — Faced with a staggering budget deficit of $5.6 billion, Ontario's newly-minted Premier, Dalton McGuinty, has pledged to sell off at least $7 billion worth of Crown assets within the next fiscal year in order to balance the budget while still keeping all of his lofty campaign promises. » more...

Microsoft Releases Absolute Last Security Patch

REDMOND, WA (SP) — In a bid to placate information security experts up in arms over security flaws in most of Microsoft's products, the software giant today announced the release of a patch that would fix "every single last security issue in every single last Microsoft product, 100% guaranteed". The patch is to be made instantly available to all users of Microsoft products worldwide, regardless of whether or not they have an Internet connection. » more...

Quick Hits: A Satiric Take on Current Events (Volume Two)

Above: Is that smile a natural high, or is Geoffrey the Giraffe high on helium?

This edition of Quick Hits includes a scandal which threatens to permanently tarnish the wholesome image of Geoffrey the Giraffe, Don King's latest hair-raising pronouncement, and the most recent exploits of P. Diddy, rap star turned marathon runner. » more...

GTA Chinese, Vietnamese Restaurant Owners Deny Catering to Neo-Nazi Extremists

TORONTO, ON (SP) — Numerous restaurants offering Chinese and Vietnamese cuisine, as well as other Asian-owned businesses, stand accused of catering to a white-supremacist clientele through their use of the number "88" in the names of their firms. The number, while considered lucky in many Asian cultures, is used by racist groups as a symbol to denote the words "Heil Hitler", with 'H' being the eighth letter of the alphabet. » more...

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