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Kate Hudson Opposes Occupation of Iraq by Naming Child Uday Hussein

SatiricPress.com
Above: The proud parents-to-be of baby Uday

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (SP) — No sooner was the first baby Dubya born in Baghdad than the first baby Uday will be born in Beverly Hills.

Actress Kate Hudson and her husband, singer Chris Robinson (former front man of the Black Crowes), have announced that they will name their first child Uday, after the recently-deceased eldest son of Saddam Hussein, as a means of voicing their opposition to America’s military occupation of Iraq.

Hudson, who is the daughter of actors Goldie Hawn and Bill Hudson, and the step-daughter of Kurt Russell, said that the choice of name first occurred to her after reading an Associated Press story about a family in Baghdad who sought to pay tribute to the efforts of their American liberators by naming their newborn son after U.S. President George W. Bush. They said that if they had had twins, they would have named the other child Tony Blair. The child’s full name is George Bush Abdul Kader Faris Abed El-Hussein.

The full name of Hudson’s child will be Uday Hussein Hawn Hudson Russell Robinson. Although Hudson does not yet know the child’s gender, she said that she intends to name it Uday in any event, since Uday is a rather uncommon name in the United States, and is therefore not associated with a particular gender. [For the purposes of this article, it will be assumed that the child is male].

Some have accused Hudson of being unpatriotic in her choice of name. However, she defends her right to name the child after Saddam’s sadistic son as merely an extension of her First Amendment right to freedom of expression. “Part of what makes [the United States] such a great country to live in is that I have the right to articulate my disapproval of American foreign policy, whether it’s by booing the national anthem, burning an American flag, or naming my first born child after an enemy of the state,” she said.

Above: Uday Hussein was the Ace of Hearts in the Pentagon’s deck of ‘Iraq’s Most Wanted’ playing cards

Others have expressed concern that baby Uday’s name will make him a prime target for ridicule on the playground. “Kids can often be very cruel in the way that they taunt other children who are different in any way,” said actress Jeri Ryan, who plays a high school teacher on television in Boston Public. “The fact that Uday comes from a family full of celebrities will make it hard enough for him to fit in at school, but his name alone may prevent him from ever being accepted by his peers.”

However, many celebrities have thrown their support behind Hudson’s politically incorrect choice of name, despite the negative repercussions faced by others who spoke out against President Bush and the war in Iraq. Celine Dion is apparently confident that she won’t be Dixie Chicked, having recorded a new song in honour of baby Uday entitled ‘An Uday Has Come’. The song will hit record stores early next year, to coincide with Uday’s birth. All proceeds will go to benefit the Iraqi Olympic Federation, which had been overseen by the late Uday Hussein. The song will also be featured in a series of television ads by automaker DaimlerChrysler that are set to begin airing next month.

Above: Celine Dion has joined Kate Hudson’s anti-war activism by recording the song ‘An Uday Has Come’

Politically-conscious singer Bono of the band U2 was also inspired by Hudson to write a new song called ‘Uday, Bloody Uday’. Bono insists that it’s not a rebel song, but simply a song about casualties of war.

Actor Colin Farrell provided Kate Hudson with yet another celebrity endorsement. Farrell went so far as to suggest that he’d be amenable to naming his unborn son Uday. However, it’s not known whether the child’s mother, model Kim Bordenave, would approve. If not, Farrell pledged his commitment to naming one of his future illegitimate children after Saddam’s eldest son.

In a related story, Johnny Depp revealed in a recent, exclusive interview with Satiric Press that his family has adopted a dog from an animal shelter near Depp’s home in France. Depp named the dog Dubya, and describes it as “a dumb puppy with big teeth.”

Some find it difficult to understand how a person like Uday Hussein, who was almost universally reviled during his lifetime for having committed innumerable crimes against humanity, could have so many people paying tribute to him after his passing. “I think John Lennon put it best on his ‘Walls and Bridges’ album,” said Bono. “Nobody loves you when you’re down and out, but everybody loves you when you’re six feet in the ground.”

Above: Johnny Depp recently adopted a “dumb puppy with big teeth” named Dubya
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