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Hot off the Press!

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Americans Flock to Canada's Immigration Web Site

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Over 55 Million Americans Apply For Canadian Citizenship

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Bush Voted "Movie Villain of the Year"

»  The Guardian
Actors Use Internet Movie Database for Dating

»  Associated Press
Teen's Klan Costume Wins Prize and Suspension


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Except in the case of public figures who are the subjects of satire, the names of entities and persons referred to in SP articles are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to real entities or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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» Current issue

People Magazine Names Kim Jong Il ‘Sexiest Man Alive’

NEW YORK, NY (SP) — People Magazine has selected reclusive North Korean leader Kim Jong Il as its 'Sexiest Man Alive' for 2003. Past winners of this honour include Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney and Tom Cruise. » more...

Above: Peerless leader bustin' mad styles.

Rogue States Rush to Acquire WMD, McDonald’s

GENEVA, Switzerland (SP) — Anxious to procure enough deterrent to dissuade U.S. President George W. Bush from initiating regime change, several countries around the world are stepping up efforts to develop or acquire Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD). As a backup, these same states are rushing to open as many McDonald's franchises as possible, in hopes that the adage holds true about no two countries with McDonald's ever going to war with each other. » more...

Above: Coming soon to a rogue state near you.

Ed the Sock’s Secret Identity Revealed

TORONTO, ON (SP) — Although celebrity sock puppet Ed the Sock is merely a size nine, it turns out that the man behind the sock fills some rather big shoes in the television industry. In an exclusive interview with Satiric Press, Toronto media mogul Moses Znaimer has admitted that it is he who provides the voice for the wise-cracking, cigar-chomping sock. » more...

Above: International Sock of Mystery.

Blockbuster Deal Sends Beckham To Jerusalem United

JERUSALEM, Israel (SP) — Just when David Beckham thought that he'd be speaking Spanish this summer, the soccer superstar has learned that he'll be honing his Hebrew instead. Beckham has been traded by Spain's Real Madrid to Jerusalem United (J.U.) for 15 billion Shekels and a player to be named later. » more...


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