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Votes from Dead People May Still Be Counted

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Michael Moore Prepares For 8-Minute Hunger Strike

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Except in the case of public figures who are the subjects of satire, the names of entities and persons referred to in SP articles are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to real entities or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Fact-Writing Scandal Rocks Satiric Press

SATIRIC PRESS H.Q. (SP) — An in-depth investigation by Satiric Press has revealed that one of its staff writers has committed numerous acts of journalistic fraud. The writer, QED, frequently and flagrantly included factual information in what were supposed to be completely fictitious news articles. » more...

RIAA President Snitches on Own Grandmother for Swapping MP3s

WASHINGTON, DC (SP) — Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) President Cary Sherman announced today that her own grandmother is guilty of swapping MP3 music files, a popular format for exchanging music over the internet. Sherman made the accusation during the unveiling of a new RIAA "snitch line" created to encourage people to inform on family, friends, relatives, neighbours, and other acquaintances. The informant program is modelled on that developed by the East German secret police (STASI) during the Cold War. » more...

Ontario NDP Mole Planned Tory Made-for-TV Budget, “Tory Indy”

TORONTO, ON (SP) — In a startling exposé, Ontario Progressive Conservative Party executives revealed that a high-level party official is in fact an NDP mole. The man, executive assistant Harold Filby, is accused of generating the idea to hold the Ontario government budget speech at a car-parts plant in Brampton, widely accepted as being a violation of constitutional tradition, and to deliver the PC party's election platform at a go-kart track in Toronto. » more...

Pope Considers Retirement After Hall of Fame Career

ROME, Italy (SP) — Having just completed his 25th season at the Vatican, Pope John Paul II, 83, will spend the off-season in Monte Carlo (where he maintains his official residence, for tax reasons) deciding whether he's ready to retire. » more...

O.J. to Join Search for Iraqi Weapons

WASHINGTON, DC (SP) — O.J. Simpson, former National Football League star running back, is to join U.S. and British forces in searching for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction (WMD), U.S. President George W. Bush announced today. » more...

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