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Yankee Pitcher Wells Suspended For Cliché-Abuse

NEW YORK, NY (SP) — New York Yankee Pitcher David "Boomer" Wells has been suspended 10 games by Major League Baseball for violating the league’s anti-cliché policy. » more...

Bush Prints More Money to Finance Tax Cut

WASHINGTON, DC (SP) — Faced with the prospect that the federal government would run out of money before the end of the month, President Bush has ordered the Treasury Department to print an additional $10 trillion in $50 and $100 bills. » more...

Big Bird Admits He’s a Bigot

SESAME STREET, Calif. (SP) — Big Bird, the long-time resident and performer on the popular children's television program Sesame Street, is a self-described bigot, according to his recently published autobiography, “Bird Droppings: Life on the Street”. » more...

Celebrity Prison, Celebrity Sanitation Workers Highlight Fall Schedule

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (SP) — Fuelled by the recent ratings success of such programs as “The Osbournes” and “The Anna Nicole Smith Show”, all of the major U.S. television networks have announced that they will be airing new celebrity-based reality shows as part of their respective fall schedules. Among the highlights: Celebrity Plastic Surgery. » more...

London, Paris Welcome Toronto to League of World Class Cities

LONDON, UK (SP) — Following years of whining by Toronto, the League of World Class Cities (LWCC) has finally given a reluctant, exasperated "oh, all right" in answer to the city's incessant requests to join the group. » more...

Star Wars Fans Hail Return of the Wookiee

SKYWALKER RANCH, Calif. (SP) — Millions of Star Wars fans are celebrating the announcement that Peter Mayhew will be reprising the role of Wookiee warrior Chewbacca in the third and final episode of the popular space saga, scheduled for release in May of 2005. » more...

Tourists Encourage U.S. War on Syria

PUNTA CANA, Dominican Republic (SP) — With the sharp downturn in the number of Americans abroad during the war on Iraq, tourists from other countries are encouraging a widening of the conflict to include Syria — as a way of keeping American tourist numbers reduced. The World Tourism Organization, while leery that Americans' staying at home might mean losses for the industry, is betting that fewer Americans at resorts will in fact lure more than enough tourists from elsewhere to make up the difference. » more...


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