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Except in the case of public figures who are the subjects of satire, the names of entities and persons referred to in SP articles are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to real entities or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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In Defense of Dick Cheney, the Most Powerful Man in America

xtb review Above: Maybe he'd be more popular if he didn't have that scowl permanently etched on his face.

WASHINGTON, DC (SP) — Dick Cheney may well be the most misunderstood man in America. He gets blamed for every perceived deficiency of the Bush administration, and yet rarely receives his fair share of the credit. It is as if he's been perpetually cast in the role of bad cop to Dubya's good cop, sacrificing his own image and reputation for the sake of elevating his running mate's approval rating. He has the look of a man who's constantly in pain, angry, constipated, or some combination thereof. But outward appearances can often be very misleading, and this is why I think Cheney's true nature has been so greatly misconstrued. » more...

Twilight of the Piano Pop Dinosaurs

xtb metatrader download Above: Billy Joel likes to be on top when he and Elton John are making sweet music together.

LONDON, England (SP) — At an age when they should be enjoying the enormous fruits of their illustrious labors, Elton John and Billy Joel are instead finding new and exciting ways to tarnish their past achievements. Over the last few weeks, Elton has lashed out at the "vile pig paparazzi" who made his recent visit to Taiwan unbearable, and then took on that aged pop juggernaut Madonna with catty allegations of excessive lip-synching at her concerts. Meanwhile, Billy Joel recently wed his 23-year-old girlfriend Kate Lee. I'm very surprised that he was able to take the time to do this. Doesn't he have some kind of car accident, tree-smashing quota to live up to? » more...

Showcase: Television Without Taste

xtb metatrader 5 Above: Showcase television has become known for showing edgy art films such as Reservoir Dogs, Quentin Tarantino's violent, stylish masterpiece.

TORONTO (SP) — It used to be that a guy could count on Showcase, the Canadian specialty television channel, to provide him with an abundance of sexual content for a reasonable price. But that was before viewers had to contend with a constant barrage of homegrown productions. I refer to such classic Canadian drivel as Bliss, Kink, Show Me Yours and my personal favorite, Naked Josh. Readers, please don't feel too bad if you are not familiar with any of this vile tripe. It is my job as SP's indentured media critic to suffer these travesties so that you don't have to! » more...

Ten Things You Won't Hear the Talking Trump Doll Say

Above: The doll bears an uncanny resemblance to The Donald, right down to the comb-over and pouty expression on his face.

NEW YORK, NY (SP) — Billionaire real estate mogul/megalomaniac Donald Trump is making the most of his hit TV show The Apprentice, with the release of a new book, board game and fragrance all bearing the Trump name. However, the most talked-about new addition to the Trump merchandising empire is the Donald J. Trump talking doll. The following are some of the phrases that you won't be hearing The Donald's version of mini-me saying anytime soon: » more...

Peace Plane: Yusuf Islam, Your Ticket Is No Longer Valid!

Above: A fatwa issued at the behest of Yusuf Islam (a.k.a. Cat Stevens) may be the best thing that ever happened to Salman Rushdie.

TORONTO (SP) — Last month, noted terrorist and 70's pop star Yusuf Islam, a.k.a. Cat Stevens, was removed from a flight that had been bound for Washington, D.C., and was deported back to England. It's hard to believe that it's been more than 15 years since Stevens received this kind of attention, dating back to the publication of Salman Rushdie's infamous book, The Satanic Verses. At the time, Stevens led the call to arms for a fatwa to be placed on Rushdie's head. Despite this, Rushdie went on to write numerous other best-sellers, co-wrote lyrics with U2 and bagged himself a super-sexy, supermodel trophy wife. If this is what the power of a pop star-ordered fatwa can bring you, then sign me up IMMEDIATELY!! » more...

Yeah, you liked that, didn't you?

See it Here: Dubya's Shoddy Georges de Paris Suit With Bulge in Back of Jacket

George W. Bush's Listening Device

MIAMI, FL (SP) — Captured on video by intrepid Fox News cameramen, and subsequently released by congressional broadcaster C-SPAN, the footage of U.S. President George W. Bush's mystery bulge (minds out of the gutter!) is reproduced here for the convenience of loyal SP readers, so that they might be amongst the cool kids who have seen the image. » more...

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